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Who I am ? Michelangelo and Blueberry phenomenon

When we are acquainted with a romantic partner, we undoubtedly go through many changes. Some of these changes are good for us, have a healing effect on us, reveal our positives that even we do not know, and make us a more desirable "me". Others are uncomfortable, making us feel like we've consumed an expired meal and poured into a sink with nausea whatever was useless. Of course, sometimes we become aware of all these things, but sometimes we are completely unaware of this. Today, I apprise about two phenomena in the relationship.


The Blueberry Phenomenon- highly mutually dependent partners, reveals the negative aspects of each other one by one in the relationship they live in, and not only that, but it also prompts each other to exhibit these aspects that reveal more. 

For example, you are lightly unaccommodating, and you conceal this feature from others. You desire to get rid of this character. However, your partner exaggerates this character and makes it worse. Unending work, messages reminding you of your responsibilities line up in rows.

It is just an example, but relationships can also have much more harmful effects than that, such as the addictive, jealous, destructive, vengeful side of the person hidden beneath the iceberg.



Michelangelo Phenomenon- interdependent individuals influence and "sculpt" each other to become closer to their ideal selves. Opposite of Blueberry Phenomenon.

The Michelangelo phenomenon model integrates concepts from the interdependence tradition and self tradition to illuminate how close partners promote versus inhibit one other movement toward ideal-self goals. As posited by the model, it appears that the self is indeed a socially constructed entity.

Close partners sculpt one other-self, shaping one other skill and traits and promoting versus inhibiting one other goal pursuits. To be sure, people sometimes make significant progress toward achieving their goals via autonomous, individual action.


If you are in a relationship, you should regularly go through the relationship check-up: How do I feel in this relationship? Am I satisfied with my condition? Do I have aspects that rebel quietly, give alarms? What are my met and unmet needs? What about my partner? Me and how does this relationship come to him? What are his needs that I can and cannot meet? What can we do to put this relationship, and indeed ourselves, into a better shape? If you are in a relationship, you should regularly go through the relationship check-up: How do I feel in this relationship? What am I going through? Am I satisfied with my condition? Do I have aspects that rebel quietly, give alarms? What are my met and unmet needs? What about my partner? Me and how does this relationship come to him? What are his needs that I can and cannot meet? 

Care and sensitivity are mutual.🧡


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